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Writer's pictureRoxy Lamorgese

Why is God Mean? or Is He?

Updated: Apr 14, 2021

The Great Takeaway - Pruning, Discipline and Rejection


5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

Down she goes. As she intentionally throws her little 18-month-old body into the ground. She was screaming and crying, as she intentionally stares at all the adults in the room in the corner of her eyes. She was waiting to see their responses and hoping to command their attention. She is not happy, and she wants everyone to know it.


Who and what am I talking about?


I am talking about my little buddy, who has gracefully arrived at her toddler phase; she arrived there pretty early. Her mom calls these moments "sackcloth and ashes." The great moments of lament that every toddler fully engages themselves in. Those moments where she thinks the world is about to end, and she throws out all that she has to make her disappointment be known to everybody in the room.

But how did this child end up weeping between the porch and the altar anyway?

A few minutes before this blissful event, she somehow managed to find a spray with old stagnant water. She was for sure very proud of herself and was having the time of her life. She started running around with her newfound treasure and started to figure out how this contraption worked. And intelligent as she is, she did.


Initially, she was content spraying it all over the place. Then it was dead silence, which is often a sign she's moved on to better things—hiding because she did not want to be seen. Somehow, as little as she is, she knew her mom was not going to allow what she was doing. So she hid herself quietly.

But lo' and behold, true to the mom's superpowers, she found her baby trying to spray this old water in her mouth and drink it. And of course, Momma did the great "takeaway," and my little buddy was not happy. Whether she understood it was for her good or not, it did not matter at this point, she was unhappy. She began to throw her "Tantrum Galore."


She pushed her mom's hand away, she jumped off the couch, and you know what happened next. She threw herself on the ground and began her moments of "sackcloth and ashes."

But what happened next totally caught my attention.


Her mom looked at her with so much grace and love, calling her by her name and waiting for her to come back to her arms. She did not yell at her child. She spoke tenderly to her and encouraged her that she can do it, she can calm herself down, and she was okay. Her Daddy grabbed her and held her and told her what she had in her hand was not good for her. She did not calm herself immediately, but she eventually did. She got up like nothing ever happened, and she moved forward as her parents gave her new entertainment. And she was back to her merry old self, giving hugs and blowing kisses. And eating cheese, lots of cheese.


What a lesson.


The reality is, sometimes we act no different than my little buddy, especially in seasons where God's love causes Him to prune, and the process appears to be a "takeaway." In seasons wherein His love compels Him to act in discipline or moments where human rejection becomes God's chosen method of protection.


Like little children, we gravitate towards holding on to things that are not truly profitable for our growth and our relationship with Him. We kick, we scream, and we fight the very hand of God.

And sometimes, like a child who finds a new desirable object, our hearts tend to wander away. At all costs, we throw ourselves into having that which has now enticed our affections, and we begin to hide these things away from the view of the public and run away as fast as we can away from God Himself; a significant symptom of sin.


Remember, if it's something that you think needs to be hidden and the thought of being found out terrifies you, it is not of God. If it comes with shame, guilt, and hiding. It is not of God. Because none of those things propel you closer to the fulness of freedom that Christ has paid for you. In fact, all those symptoms were immediately visible after the fall. God is light, and in Him, there is no darkness at all. Before the fall, Adam and Eve were simply before God, naked and unashamed. Hiding, cover-ups, nakedness and shame all these things are brought on about by sin.


At one point or another, all of us have done and experienced one, if not a combination of these things.

But that's where the goodness of God overtakes our rebelliousness. It was easy for me to identify with the little child because I act the same way one way or another.


But in the same token, it was also encouraging for me to see how her parents' love moved them to action. Not anger, not frustration, love. They were protecting her from what can seemingly be harmful to her, and even knowing their child would be mad, they acted with her best interest in mind. They loved her well enough to allow her to express herself. They allowed her to overcome her frustration. They loved her well enough that even as she got louder, they still called her by her name and showed her affection. And the more she cried, the more she got held and reassured she would be alright. No, that does not mean that they gave in and gave her what she wanted just because. Loving her means guarding her against the very things that harm her, even when it costs her parents pain, even when it means they have to protect her from herself.


That is a potent picture of God's love for us.


And that is where we can trust God and His love for us. God withholds nothing good from us. God desires to lavish us with extravagant love and overwhelms us with His blessings. However, God won't sit back when we do things that are harmful to us. He loves us too much for that.

God can both prune us or discipline us.

Regardless, He desires to grow us and mature us. His love gives us pruning seasons to teach us how to overcome and allow us opportunities to bear more fruit. It strengthens us to overcome certain obstacles in our lives and continually mold us into the conformity of Christ.


God's love can also discipline us because it is the child that He loves that He disciplines. Some things are just not good for us - period. And what good Father would continually allow the detriment of His child. We are not orphans; we are not without guidance. We are children who are loved by their Father, a Father that is intricately involved in ensuring the positive formation of His child's character.


But here is the powerful thing, God is not just sitting in Heaven waiting to smite you. God is rooting for you. Jesus is interceding for us constantly, as He forever sits on the right-hand side of our Father. Yes, even when we sometimes act like little children, His love compels Him to be patient and long-suffering. He is waiting on us to enter into rest and trust that what He has for us is for our good.

And like my friends who graciously called their child by her name, you can trust that God does the same. Zephaniah 3:17 tells us that He will quiet us by His love.


God calls us by our name, and He is not at all intimidated by our adult tantrums. He is not intimidated by the fact that we wrestle against His hand of pruning and growing because He alone sees our beginning and our end. And He is simply more concerned about the outcome of our growth and the character that is produced by that season of pruning and discipline.


God is not mean. He does not take away things just because He can. That is a lie. God only does what's good for you. God is very intentional and regardless of if it's pruning or discipline, those moments that appear to be "taking away" from us are actually working for us eternal good.


John 15 gives us a picture of that goodness. It lets us know that God prunes even those that are already bearing fruit. That means that a part of us is constantly being cut off from us, parts that may not necessarily be sinful, but maybe it's just a behavior that's no longer profitable for your current season.

Why does He prune us? So we can bear more fruits. And maybe those seasons are more challenging because we know we are doing everything right. Don't let that be a discouragement; receive that as encouragement.

God sees that you are bearing fruit, and He desires that you become even more fruitful, so He gives you opportunities to grow and overcome. Opportunities to experience a life with more meaning, purpose, and even understanding. That means He is positioning you to blossom, where after the pruning, you have an opportunity to be the showcase of that beautiful blossoming for the world to see or be a fruitful vine that becomes a source of filling fruit and refreshing to the world around you.


Well, how about the takeaway that comes from discipline? Well, take heart. Yes, there needs to be some attitude and behavior adjustment. But once again, you can take heart and be encouraged. Many passages of Scriptures assure us that it is the child that He loves that He disciplines. That a Father delights in the child whom He disciplines. That we ought to not be weary in His reproof, why?


In the same way, as pruning is relevant to us, so is God's discipline towards us. It assures us that we are legitimate children, we belong to Him, and He is taking ownership of our identity and our personhood. He is committed to raising us, and He is doing just that. He is so bought in to our growth that He takes a hands-on approach to that.


He has not handed us over to our reprobate mind. He is still working on perfecting us and maturing us. We have not lost all our sensitivity to His Spirit because He is still able to correct and convict us. And those are good things. Now, that does not mean that we keep on sinning? Definitely not.


That means, however, that a proper response is required of us. And that response is simply repentance.


Hebrews 12 assures us that He chastens those whom He accepts us Son. Do you understand that? God treats you as a son or daughter. And we ought to not make light of that love. Because the same way that pruning produces lasting fruits out of us, so is the byproduct of submitting to God's discipline.


It pulls us back into righteousness, where a path can be marked for our lives, and healing can begin in our lives. It is also fascinating that a chapter before God's discipline is filled with the Hall of Faith? Why? Because it takes tremendous faith to continually trust God's love for us in a season of discipline. But the previous chapter lays for us a good track record of God's utmost dependability. Whether it's pruning or discipline, God's character and motivation can be trusted.


But pruning and discipline come hand in hand. One is prevention, and the other is treatment. Either way, we will experience pain. But we get to choose.


What do I mean by that?

Going back to John 15, it shows us that pruning produces fruits. Later on, in the chapter, it tells us that the fruit is love. Galatians 5:22 tells us the fruits of the Holy Spirit, the byproduct and empowerment of being in constant proximity to the Vine, Christ Jesus. And there, we find the fruits of discipline and self-control. And over time, those fruits will put our lives and passions under arrest. Under submission to living a life in the Spirit. And it is when we fail to bear those fruits by God's pruning that our lives and decisions get out of order. We then lack the discipline and self-control to arrest our passions or stay submitted to God's Word.


That is when we start to wonder, to start chasing after our heart's deceptive passions, and God has to exercise His love through discipline.

So, we get to have a choice, yes there may be a pain, but I know that I know one path is easier than the other.

We either allow God's Spirit to bear the fruit of discipline and self-control, or we choose to walk out the consequences of God's discipline and life lived out of God's divine order.


We get to pick. Do we exercise discipline as a preventive measure, or do we want to experience it as God's treatment to our wandering? Either or because of His love, He will do it.


This is how much He loves us that He has made way for us not to be disciplined by giving us His Spirit of discipline. By providing us a means to overcome by the empowerment of His own Spirit. This is now the joy of living a life in that Spirit.


That is one thing we can trust; God's love is not performance-based, and it is not human dependent. God's love is solely based on who He is. In spite and despite us, His love remains. His motivation to bring us to freedom remains the same.


So, just as securely and confidently as this baby jumped back in her father's arms. Know that in Christ, there is always a chance by the gift of repentance and submission.

Lastly, protection by rejection. Sometimes God allows relationships to be the very thing that is pruned in our lives. And for most of us, that may be the most rigid type of pruning or takeaway, especially if that relationship holds so much of our affection. But that is precisely why God's grace compels Him to do it.


He is a jealous God, and He is jealous over your heart. He is jealous over the worth of your life that He desires to protect you, first from yourself. From living a life of compromise and under the true value paid for by Christ.


God is all-knowing and sees the beginning to the end. He considers the intents of every person surrounding you or the influences of those relationships have on you. And He will guard you against the things you may not even know can harm you even though it is not revealed to you.


God also desires to teach you utmost dependency and show you His sufficiency. And we can only learn those things from Him. Sometimes, even our good relationships can hinder us from experiencing a depth of intimately entrenched in Him.


It may not be necessarily sinful; maybe it's simply unhealthy amounts of time poured into that relationship that has now turned into a distraction. Or a powerful familiar voice that now is hindering you from discerning God's voice when He desires to speak. Or they become your immediate source of "wisdom" instead of first taking things before God in prayer.


Sometimes it may just be a different season, and your relationships need to experience separation to advance the Gospel. It was evident in the lives of the Apostle.


But like anything, the separation is with a purpose and done through one motivation, God's love towards you, and His best desire for you.

So if you are experiencing any of these things this day, if you are walking into a season that feels like a "takeaway," I pray you don't raise your fist before God instead bend your knees before Him.

First, thank Him that He loves you this much to allow you to grow and overcome. Then ask His Spirit for proper awareness of whether it's pruning or discipline, and lastly, ask for the grace to submit to the process.

You are a child of God; you are in the care of your loving Father. And like my friends' are to their little girl, He is so profoundly enthralled with you as His child. His "takeaways" are for you, not against you. Trust that and trust that He is for you! Know that you do not even need to command His attention. You have it every moment of every day.


Let the process have its perfect way. So you can be fruitful and multiply!







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