Who are you truly?
A few Saturdays ago, I was trying to have one of my "personal retreat" days. No plans, no emails, no work - NOTHING. Days that may be hard to come by, but I recognize I need them greatly.
I decided it was a good day to take care of my face, after all, it's truthfully the only thing you wear every day. So I mixed a little bit of silver with some charcoal. I put on some instrumental jazz music, placed the concoction on my face, and decided it's also a great idea to read my book. I set the alarm for when it's time to take it off, and yet when it came, I kept pushing the snooze button. Ten minutes longer than prescribed, I finally got myself to get up and peel this thing off.
Well, there's a reason why there are instructions to follow. Lo and behold, this thing is now stuck to my face and harder to peel. So as I started to peel off the edges, slowly, I took it off inch by inch. And yes, I felt the discomfort every inch of the way. I had to do it slowly, work around more sensitive areas, and voila! Finally, that thing is off of me.
My skin felt relief; I can see all the impurities peeled away with a sheet that somewhat resembles my very face. I can see my face brighter, skin more toner, and honestly, it just felt cleaner. And I just felt lighter.
And as I conscientiously examined my face, staring at my image, I thought to myself, "I wonder how much people are truly hiding behind the mask of their perceived identities?"
See, that experience is no different than what we do. And like what I have done, sometimes we put off the necessary work to get back to who we are, that when the time comes when we need to peel the mask away, all we feel is pain. Because we have now allowed this facade that was never us to begin with, take root so deeply within and take over who we truly are within. And often, if we are honest, we keep up our fake appearances at the cost of our very peace and identities.
But what is the real price? It's simple. OUR SELVES. What's the actual cost? Our very freedom.
And maybe we do not mean ill-will; maybe we keep up with these appearances to hide insecurity or pain. Or perhaps because we lack a simple understanding of our true worth, value, and life's meaning.
Whatever it may be, we all have it. Find me a person who tells you they have no insecurity, and you have found yourself a person who is lying to themselves.
The sad part is we keep striving for man and society's approval. At every level of influence, there is a voice vying for your attention of "who you could be" or "shouldn't be," that even when you want to, you cannot stop pretending.
The mask you have put on yourself to appease and appeal to others' swallowing your sheer beauty. Wanting to be accepted, fear of being rejected, desire to belong, need to fit in. My dear friend, that life can get very exhausting, and the more it goes on. The more it hurts.
You have an identity! Wear it and celebrate it. Learn who you are and who you are not. Who you want to be and who you do not want to be. And learn where to anchor your security. And make no mistake, your identity is not merely reliant on your strengths, gifts, and talents. It is also not defined by your failures, errors, and weakness. You are a multi-faceted human being; that a well-rounded, mature and secure acknowledgment of your identity becomes a beautiful celebration of all that and then some.
What then does that look like?
A life lived in authenticity and light. Celebrate and practice your gifts, accept your weakness and take steps to guard them. Take ownership of your mistakes, and strive to do better along the way. Leave within your means, be who you are called to be. Set healthy boundaries. We do not need to be haughty to be confident; in fact, people that are truly secure in their identity carry meekness. Stop pretending to be who you are not.
Setting preferences for how you want to live your life, versus staging your life because you got caught in the comparison trap are two very different stories. The first one brings freedom, balance, and joy. The latter will eventually bring deplete.
Live your life free from having something to prove, and live free from somebody else opinion. Stop seeking people's approval.
Because the masks that we wear are very cunning and deceptive, we hide behind the light of our achievements, the titles, the strengths of our calling. We morph to become the people we follow, the friends we hang out with, what our families dictate. Once again, exhausting.
We can wear many hats to the many roles that we fill, but we should never wear masks to hide the pain that's killing us within. Our hats speak to our maturity and acknowledgment of responsibility. And yes, life does call for us to wear our hats and proudly, but it does not demand us to relinquish our identities.
But what's the danger of not being authentic to that identity? Bondage. You set a trap for yourself wherein you cannot walk out the fullness and beauty of all you have been destined to be. You miss out on the grace (empowering grace) that has been afforded to you to walk out that powerful identity.
David was a mighty king. He was named a warrior, some called him a worshipper, to Jonathan, a friend; he was a brother and a son. A man of great victories, a man of failures, and a man who sinned. And yet, in all this, he is known to be "the man after God's own heart." Nothing to do with anything that people can see; his was identity tucked deeply within.
A man, though imperfect he may be, started as a boy who refused to fill somebody else's shoes. A boy that both respectfully yet boldly said "no" to wearing somebody else's armor. A boy who stood boldly to fight with his own weapon. A boy who refuses to be taunted. A boy secured in his promise to be crowned king one day, that he simply yielded to the journey. A boy who had nothing to prove, so he minded his own business and kept tending to his sheep.
A boy who did not go around screaming, "I am anointed to be Israel's king." He did not fight to overthrow the kingdom of Saul, nor wrestled to sit on his ordained throne.
He was simply confident in knowing the God who calls.
Like David, we need to have that anchor that our sole security lies in the hands of The One who calls. That our identity remains only strengthened in light of Christ's hold in our lives. That in that place completely enveloped in Him, you are already accepted, there is nothing hidden, and there is no striving.
We don't have to "fake it" because He already knows it, and He loves us just the same. We are not orphans waiting on a Father's acceptance; we are children and heirs to an unshakable kingdom. That is who we are. We have nothing to prove because He has already decided to die for us because of His love.
We don't have to strive for love and belongingness. Jesus already extravagantly poured all of that on us.
So, where do we begin? First, we stop pretending before God and ourselves. And we ask ourselves, "am I living out every area of my life authentically?"
Spend some time to think; this is your freedom, like the painful unmasking. Search every inch of your life until you feel that relief of needing to pretend, hiding every area of pain, unhealed brokenness, every source of fear, and every need of keeping appearances fall away.
What is it that you truly want in life? Who is it truly that you want to be? And what is stopping you from walking it out fully? Do away NOW, with the fear of rejection, walk your identity out in meekness, but wear it without shame. Wear your own face (identity) proudly. Because the only way for your face to shine brightly is to peel that layer that hides its beauty. And after you walk through the pain of your own unmasking, you will find the refreshing freedom that can come when you let yourself be.
And when you are ready to admit who you are not, the world is eagerly waiting for you to step into who you can be.
From one "unmasking" survivor to another,
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